"I Want to Go Home": Why People With Dementia Say It and How to Respond

Many people with dementia ask to "go home," even when they are home. Here's what they often mean, why it happens, and calm, kind ways to respond without arguing.

By Jim Pavlish, Editor · Last updated: October 31, 2026 · Editorial policy

Short answer: when someone with dementia says "I want to go home," they often mean a feeling, not an address. The Alzheimer's Society says "home" can stand for a time or place where they felt safe and relaxed, and the request may come from time-shifting, anxiety or loneliness. Don't argue about where home is. Reassure them they're safe, respond to the feeling, and gently redirect.

It may happen in the house they've lived in for forty years. It may happen every afternoon in a memory care community. "I want to go home." "When are we going home?" "I need to get home, my mother will be worried."

For families, it's one of the most painful things to hear, and one of the most common. The good news is that there are ways to respond that usually work better than explaining.

This page is general information, not medical advice. If the request comes with a sudden change in behavior or confusion, contact the person's doctor.

How common is it?

Very. The Alzheimer's Society says it's not uncommon for a person with dementia to say they want to go home, and that it can happen at any stage of the disease. It isn't a sign of one particular stage.

What "home" often means

The Alzheimer's Society explains that for a person with dementia, "home" may describe something more than the place they live now. It may be:

• A feeling of safety and comfort: a time or place where they felt secure, relaxed and happier
• A home from the past: the house they grew up in, or where they raised their children, not the last place they lived
• A place that no longer exists, or never existed exactly as they remember it

As the Society puts it: if they don't recognize where they are as home at that moment, then for that moment, it isn't home.

Why it happens

Several things can be going on at once.

Time-shifting. The Alzheimer's Society describes time-shifting as when a person experiences themselves as living at an earlier time in their life. Because dementia often damages short-term memory, the person may rely on older memories to make sense of the present. Someone who is time-shifted may want to collect the children from school, look for a parent who has died, or head back to a childhood home. What they perceive is as real to them as your reality is to you.

Anxiety, insecurity or fear. The Society notes that a person may want to "go home" because they feel anxious, insecure, depressed or afraid. The desire to go home is probably the same one any of us would have in a place that felt unfamiliar.

Loneliness or boredom. Notice whether the person seems unhappy when they ask. Do the requests happen more when nobody is visiting?

Time of day and surroundings. The Society suggests checking whether it happens near mealtimes (could a snack help?), when it's noisy, or later in the day, when Sundowning is common.

Needing reassurance. Many people also follow their carer around to check they're not alone (see Shadowing: When Someone With Dementia Follows You Everywhere). Asking to go home can come from the same need to feel safe.

What usually doesn't help

• Arguing or correcting. "You are home" or "That house was sold years ago" rarely settles it. The Alzheimer's Society advises against trying to reason or disagree about where home is, and says pointing out mistakes to someone who is time-shifted can be very upsetting.
• Repeating painful facts. Telling someone again that their mother has died can make them grieve as if for the first time. See What Not to Say to Someone with Dementia (and What to Say Instead).
• Showing frustration. If you're losing patience, it's okay to step out for a moment and come back calmer.

What to try instead

Drawn from the Alzheimer's Society's advice:

1. Respond to the feeling, not the words. "You're missing home. Tell me about it." Ask what home was like and why they were happy there. The answer can tell you what they need right now: company, rest, a familiar routine, something to do.
2. Reassure them they're safe. Use a calm voice. If they like it, hold their hand or touch their arm. Let them know they're safe and cared for.
3. Look for an unmet need. Are they hungry, thirsty, tired, cold, in pain, needing the toilet, bored or lonely? Fixing the need often quiets the request.
4. Redirect gently. A photo album, a favorite song, a snack, a short walk or a simple task can shift attention. With photos, the Society suggests making comments ("That looks like Uncle Fred...") rather than quizzing the person about the past.
5. Keep a log. Note when it happens: time of day, noise, who was there, what came before. Patterns point to triggers you can reduce.
6. Find out their life story. Knowing their old routines, job and important places helps you understand what "home" means to them. In care settings, share this with staff.

If they try to leave

A strong urge to "go home" can lead someone to walk out of the house or try the doors. If that's happening, read our guide to Wandering for safety steps, and talk with the doctor or care team.

In memory care or a nursing home

Asking to go home is especially common after a move. The Alzheimer's Society suggests asking staff whether the person settles at other times and whether the requests come mainly when family isn't visiting; staff often know. A photo album of family and home can help someone feel more comfortable in a new place. See Visiting Someone in Memory Care or a Nursing Home for tips on visits and goodbyes.

Common questions

Why does my mom with dementia keep saying she wants to go home when she is home?

The Alzheimer's Society says "home" often means a feeling of safety or a place from the past, not the current address. Time-shifting, anxiety, loneliness or a need such as hunger can all be behind it. If she doesn't recognize her surroundings as home at that moment, then for her, it isn't home.

What should I say when someone with dementia wants to go home?

Avoid arguing. Acknowledge the feeling ("You miss home"), ask what home was like, reassure them they're safe, and gently redirect with photos, music, food or a walk. The Alzheimer's Society recommends this approach.

Does wanting to go home mean dementia is getting worse?

Not necessarily. The Alzheimer's Society says it can happen at any stage and isn't linked to one stage. But a sudden change in behavior or confusion should be checked by a doctor.

Why is it worse in the late afternoon?

Requests that cluster later in the day may be linked to sundowning, according to the Alzheimer's Society. Keeping a log of when it happens can reveal triggers like tiredness, noise or hunger.

The bottom line

"I want to go home" is usually a request for comfort and safety. Arguing rarely helps. Listening to the feeling, reassuring, meeting any unmet need and gently redirecting usually work better, and keeping a log can help you prevent the worst times.

Sources

1. Alzheimer's Society (UK): 'I want to go home' - What to say to someone with dementia in care
2. Alzheimer's Society (UK): Time-shifting and dementia
3. Alzheimer's Society (UK): Trailing, following, checking and dementia

Not medical advice. This article is general information, not a diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual. Talk with a doctor about your situation.

Related articles

• Sundowning
• Shadowing: When Someone With Dementia Follows You Everywhere
• Wandering
• Visiting Someone in Memory Care or a Nursing Home
• What Not to Say to Someone with Dementia (and What to Say Instead)
• Communicating with Someone with Dementia