Memory Digest

Explaining Dementia to Kids and Teens

How to talk with children and teenagers about a family member's dementia, what to say at different ages, how to help them cope with their feelings, and simple activities they can enjoy together.

Last reviewed: October 2026

When a grandparent, parent or other family member has dementia, it affects everyone in the family, including the youngest members. Children notice when Grandma repeats herself, forgets their name, or gets upset for no clear reason. Without an explanation, they may feel scared, confused, or even think it's their fault.

The National Institute on Aging (NIA) says it's important to talk to young people and help them understand what is happening. How much you share depends on the child's age and their relationship with the person.

Start with honesty

Children cope better with simple truths than with silence. The NIA suggests:

• Answer questions simply and honestly. For example: "Grandma has an illness that makes it hard for her to remember things."
• Reassure them that no one caused the disease. Young children may think they did something to hurt their grandparent.
• Tell them their feelings are normal. Sadness, anger, fear and embarrassment are all okay.

What to say at different ages

Young children (about 3 to 7) - Keep it short and concrete: "Grandpa's brain is sick. Sometimes he forgets things, and that's not because he doesn't love you." - Reassure them that dementia isn't catching like a cold. - Expect the same questions again and again. That's how young children process things.

School-age children (about 8 to 12) - They can understand more: dementia is a disease that damages the brain and slowly gets worse. - Explain specific changes they've seen: "When Grandma calls you by Mom's name, it's because the part of her brain that stores names isn't working well." - Invite questions, and look things up together.

Teenagers - Teens can handle fuller information about the disease and what lies ahead. - The NIA notes that older children and teens might be embarrassed by the person's behavior. Many families find it works better not to force visits. Invite them, and let them set the pace. - Let them choose how to help, and respect their need for time with friends.

Watch for signs of stress

Some kids don't talk about their feelings but show them in other ways. The NIA notes that some children may act out at school or at home instead. Let them know they can always come to you. A school counselor or social worker can also help them learn healthy ways to cope.

Spending time together

The NIA says it's important to show children that they can still talk with the person and enjoy activities together. Many younger children watch how adults act and copy it, so model patience and a kind tone. Avoid baby talk or a harsh voice.

Activities that often work well:

• Reading stories aloud
• Looking through photo albums and asking about old pictures
• Playing or singing music together (see Music and Art Therapy)
• Simple arts and crafts, like coloring, painting or making cards
• Easy card or board games, sorting buttons, baking simple cookies
• Walks, gardening, or feeding the birds

The Alzheimer's Association keeps a list of activities, plus books and videos for children and teens, that families can explore together.

Tips for kids during visits: - Say your name when you arrive: "Hi Grandpa, it's me, Emma." - Don't argue or correct. Just go along kindly. - Speak slowly, one idea at a time, and smile. - If Grandpa gets upset, it's okay to take a break.

See Communicating with Someone with Dementia for more ideas you can share.

If children live in the same home

The NIA offers specific advice when a person with dementia lives with the family:

• Be honest about your own feelings, but don't overwhelm the kids.
• Spend one-on-one time with them so they don't feel all your attention goes to the person with dementia.
• Protect their normal life: friends, school activities and homework.
• Don't expect a young child to "babysit" or take care of the person. It may not be safe for either of them.

If stress at home becomes too great, consider Respite Care so the whole family can get a break.

As the disease progresses

Prepare children for changes before they happen when you can: "Grandma might not remember your name soon, but she'll still enjoy your hugs." If the person moves to memory care or reaches the end of life, kids need simple, honest explanations and a chance to say goodbye in their own way. See Grief and Ambiguous Loss and Hospice and End-of-Life Care.

Look after yourself too

If you're caring for a parent while raising kids, you're part of the "sandwich generation," and it can be overwhelming. The Alzheimer's Association offers resources for caregivers in this position, and the 24/7 Helpline (800-272-3900) can help you think through how to talk with your children. See Caregiver Stress and Burnout and Finding a Support Group.

Sources

1. Alzheimer's Association: Helping Kids Understand Alzheimer's and Dementia
2. National Institute on Aging: Helping Family and Friends Understand Alzheimer's Disease

Not medical advice. This article is general information, not a diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual. Talk with a doctor about your situation.

Related articles

• Telling Others About a Diagnosis
• Communicating with Someone with Dementia
• Caregiver Stress and Burnout
• Grief and Ambiguous Loss
• Finding a Support Group