Holidays and Dementia: Tips for Family Gatherings

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah and other celebrations can be confusing and tiring for someone with dementia and stressful for caregivers; here's how to adjust plans, prepare guests, keep the person safe and still enjoy time together.

By Jim Pavlish, Editor · Last updated: October 24, 2026 · Editorial policy

Holidays bring people, noise, food, travel and broken routines, all at once. For someone living with dementia, that mix can be confusing or exhausting, and for the person caring for them it can feel like one more job on top of a full-time one. With a few changes, many families still find real moments of joy. The goal is a good day for the person with dementia, not a perfect holiday.

Start by adjusting expectations

• Give yourself permission to do less. A smaller, shorter, simpler gathering is often better for everyone. You don't have to keep every tradition.
• Hand off roles. If you always cooked the turkey, this may be the year a sibling takes it over. The Alzheimer's Association suggests seeing it as a chance for someone else to start a tradition.
• Talk with family ahead of time, by phone, video or a group message, about what you can and can't manage and what help would be useful.
• Allow for mixed feelings. It's normal to feel sad about what has changed. The person with dementia may feel it too, even if they can't say why.

Plan around the person's best time of day

Many people with dementia are most alert in the morning or early afternoon and become more confused or restless late in the day, a pattern called Sundowning. Consider:

• A holiday brunch or early lunch instead of a late dinner.
• Keeping meals, medicines and naps close to the usual schedule.
• A set end time, so the visit finishes before the person is worn out.

Prepare guests

Relatives who haven't visited in a while may be surprised by changes. A short note or call beforehand helps:

• Explain what has changed, for example that Mom may not recognize everyone or may repeat questions.
• Share what works: introduce yourself by name, speak one at a time, don't quiz her ("Do you know who I am?"), and go along with small mix-ups. Our guide to What Not to Say to Someone with Dementia (and What to Say Instead) is easy to forward.
• Suggest visiting in ones or twos rather than everyone at once.
• Ask children to bring a simple shared activity, like a photo album or a song (see Explaining Dementia to Kids and Teens).

Make the space calmer and safer

• Set up a quiet room with a comfortable chair and familiar items where the person can rest or visit with one guest at a time.
• Decorate simply and gradually. Lots of blinking lights, noisy toys or sudden changes to a familiar room can be overwhelming.
• Avoid decorations that look like food or candy, such as artificial fruit, which may be mistaken for something edible.
• Watch for tripping hazards like extension cords and rugs, and secure the tree so it can't tip over.
• Use battery-operated candles for menorahs, kinaras and table settings.
• Be careful with alcohol. It can interact with medicines and worsen confusion and balance. Ask the person's doctor or pharmacist what's safe.
• Plan for wandering. Busy gatherings with doors opening and closing are a common time for someone to slip out unnoticed. Assign one person at a time to keep an eye on them (see Wandering).

Include the person in ways they can enjoy

People with dementia usually want to belong, not just be served. Try:

• Simple prep jobs: stirring batter, folding napkins, setting out plates, wrapping gifts.
• Old favorites: holiday music, carols, a religious service, a familiar movie.
• Looking through photos or old holiday cards together.
• A drive to see neighborhood lights.

Let them do what they can without correcting how it's done. A crooked napkin is fine.

If visiting a memory care community or hospital

Shorter, calmer visits often go better than one long one. Check with staff about the best time of day, bring a small familiar treat if allowed, and consider joining a group activity the community is already running. Taking the person out for a holiday meal can be lovely, or it can be too much; staff who see them daily can help you decide.

Gifts that work

Good choices are simple and familiar: a soft sweater or blanket, a playlist or simple music player with their favorite songs, a framed photo with names labeled, large-print puzzles, or a visit and a shared activity instead of a thing. Avoid gifts that require new learning, like complicated gadgets, and anything unsafe, such as tools or appliances the person can no longer use safely.

If you can't be together

A short video call with a clear focus, like singing one song, watching grandchildren open a gift, or sharing a recipe, is easier to follow than a busy group call. A recorded video message the person can watch again also works well.

Take care of yourself, too

Holidays add to an already heavy load (see Caregiver Stress and Burnout). Say yes when people offer help and be specific: "Could you sit with Dad on Saturday afternoon so I can shop?" If you need a longer break, look into Respite Care or an adult day program. The Alzheimer's Association Helpline (800-272-3900) is open 24/7, holidays included, and the Alzheimer's Foundation of America Helpline (866-232-8484) is staffed by social workers seven days a week.

This article is general information, not medical advice. If the person becomes suddenly much more confused around the holidays, call their doctor, since a change like that can signal an infection or other treatable problem (see Delirium vs. Dementia).

Sources

1. Alzheimer's Association: The Holidays and Alzheimer's
2. Alzheimer's Foundation of America: Six Tips to Celebrate the Holidays with Someone Living with Dementia
3. U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Dementia Caregiver Web Support: Traveling and Holidays
4. National Institute on Aging: Coping With Agitation, Aggression, and Sundowning in Alzheimer's Disease

Not medical advice. This article is general information, not a diagnosis or treatment plan for any individual. Talk with a doctor about your situation.

Related articles

• Activities for People with Dementia
• Communicating with Someone with Dementia
• What Not to Say to Someone with Dementia (and What to Say Instead)
• Sundowning
• Caregiver Stress and Burnout